Sometimes when I set a goal for myself I lose track of why I put that goal there. The only thing I can focus on is getting to that goal and I will move heaven and earth to get there. What I may not realize is that along the way these steps being taken to get to said goal have changed me in small ways. These changes may at times not make the goal necessary anymore, all I really needed to do was make some small changes. I didn’t see this though and was focused on the end result. Somewhere along the way I lose sight of who I am, what I want from life and the joy in my life.
I will readily admit that i am largely materialistic, at times narcissistic and often condescending. Are these traits I am proud of? Nope, not at all. They are parts of myself that I recognize and look to change. Will I ever be rid of them completely? I like to hope so, but I also know that these are a part of who I am.
I know, I know, exactly where am I going with this? Nowhere really, it is these small realizations in the middle of life that keep me focused on my goal: to be a better mother, a better motivator for the boys and a better person all around. There will always be something in myself that I can change, but I hope that I can celebrate the small changes I make along the way also.