On the other hand

I did not miss a while slew of things about work. I love my job and while i would rather be at home sleeping in the middle of the night rather than screwing up my body’s natural rhythm or playing with glitter or doing something else really, work is really just that work. It is a job in which a corporation expects you to uphold a certain standard and perhaps perform the job that you were hired to do, which was vaguely outlined in a contract in which you only saw the last page of. Of course now you have to take umpteen thousand training videos to certify that you are capable of saving you co-workers from a terrorist attack (people this company is in the top ten of places a terrorist would attack, something NOT included in the application), or that you will not even under torture give your login out to anyone (by god the powers that be will smite you for this), and things you have to swear that you will never do even though every week someone does it and then we have to go through this damn process again. How many times people, just how MANY times do we have to do this before just a glimmer of intelligence will leak in and say “hey maybe what we are about to do IS NOT A GOOD IDEA?”. Apparently many many many mind numbing times. Anyways i didn’t miss any of these things:

* the sounds of my co-workers sleeping beside me while i am on the phone trying to convince the people i am working with that “No that is not snoring you hear. WAKE UP YOU LAZY FREAK!” (plus if i wanted to hear loud annoying snoring i would be at home with my own personal snoring machine)

* management belittling my intelligence despite the years of experience and that i am RIGHT

* the same problems all the time without fail

* constant fear of layoffs

* not getting to sleep at night and being oh so tired all the time

* damn see through chairs that they got as a bargain used when they moved us all into this cube farm

* nancy grace all the time because CNN is one of the channels that is on all the time (you know to warn us of said terrorist attack)

* having to risk life and limb to come in regardless of the weather because i signed up for this and it is in my contract that i will live in this building if i cannot make it back in

* ketchup packet wars (because that shit doesn’t come out of suede)

* training classes that should of been updated years ago because seriously backing up a system onto a floppy???

* hot cold hot cold, i am going to find the moron who controls the temperature in this building and lock him in a freezer, i am never dressed for the weather inside this building


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