Today was one of those really nice days. The weather while overcast, was just right for little boys to outside and terrorize the neighborhood, while their mother looked fondly on. Sounds picturesque? Well that mother looking fondly on, was doing so because all the walking yesterday has all but made her unable to walk. Good gravy people, i am barely able to lift my leg into a change of clothes. This does not bode well for the theory that having boys keeps a mother active and fit. I have the four boys, now why does my body not seem to want to cooperate with that fit theory? I think my body is staging an upheaval which will be fine with me as long as i am on the couch for it.

I try to be fit and by trying i should say that i will walk to get the t.v. remote to change the channel. Can i help it if my electronically addicted husband has mounted the t.v. on the wall and now to change the channel on the t.v. it requires a ladder and someone with 9111 standing by on the phone? I am super TERRIFIED of heights people, to the point that looking out the window on the second floor will cause me to go into sweats and grasp at the nearest stationary object. What was that i said yesterday about not passing on my irrational fears to my boys and experiencing life? HA! One day i will have that outing in which mommy can look out the window without turning white and having to breath into a plastic bag, but not soon people. Oh and heaven help you if I am driving over a bridge and if that bridge has water under it, you can bet i am flagging down someone to drive us across it because it will cause me to faint. Yeah, i am hoping not to raise a pack of boys that will have to do the same. So far by living in NC i am managing to avoid that since we don’t live near water that i have to cross.

In any case, i do try and keep active, but i cannot kick my love and addiction for bread and pasta and salt. It is a curse and with my genes it is a guaranteed extra 50 lbs that i am never going to lose if i don’t put the loaf of bread down and start mourning the loss of the beloved carb. Yes, i have had four boys all weighing in close to 10lbs and 4 c-sections rendering my stomach a numb waste (no pun intended as i have no waist) land of skin and quite possibly more fat that i am willing to admit since i am still convinced two months after the birth of #4 that my uterus is still shrinking or that they left a lot of gauze in there when they were tying off ye old tubes. Which to be honest my OB thought would only b e truly effective if my fertile partner in crime, M got his boys fixed as well. has he done it? Nope. That is a whole other story there involving a whole lot of pain and emotionally misery that i am not quite ready to bare to the internet world just yet. I am not thrilled that i went ahead and got this done since i am hearing horrible stories about how periods are much worse, heavier, icky yuck! I am also not looking forward to having my first period for the first time in 5 years when i am finally done nursing and may have to be bribed to stop before the fourth is 18yr old. Let’s face it i am expecting to be living in the bath tub and pray that no one thinks that i have slit my wrist whilst my body punishes me for being just a little more than happy over no periods while pregnant or nursing. In all i have noticed other changes as well in regards to my emotions and thoughts. Whether it is the surgery or just that i know that i am done having kids and moving on to a different phase in life, i don’t know since it has all happened at once. I do feel different though, however i would be happier if that different was 50lbs lighter.


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