Really?

As many of you may (or not if you really just don’t care) remember i am pregnant (yes again)…oh wait not a news flash? As my neighbors ALL say that i have been pregnant or nursing (which they consider pregnant with baby onthe outside) since they have known me. Seriously folks i am not trying to compete with the Duggars in any way. I can’t help but be a little jealous that she has had SO many little babes to cuddle with, but then again she has also had that many MORE sleepless nights and dear lord her boobs must be made of cement because mine are shot!

Growing up  it may surprise those of you that did not go through the embarrassing hair spray/purple eye shadow/black and white hot pant phase with me may not know that i never wanted to get married or have kids. Shock i know considering i am well on my way to forming my own sports team. I rode at a barn that had eleventy billion kids there every summer, that drove me mind-suckingly mad and was more effective than any other birth control scare i could of gotten. As i got older, i never really switched over to the breeding team, but i didn’t think kids sucked as much. I had made a ton of cool friends and watched/taught a lot of really great people at that barn. I watched them grow and thought to myself, how great that i had a part in what they were becoming.

Even when i hit my 20’s and was still teaching and riding at the same barn, surrounded by the eleventy billion screaming, seemingly much less controllable children, I hadn’t said “Yes yes this is for me!” Thank god! Not thank god in the sense that i didn’t want kids, but that i didn’t have them then. Even in my 20’s i was still, not partying like a frat boy let off his leash, but enjoying my nomadic life. I didn’t have a solid income (hello riding horses + horse shows = more money out than in people), didn’t have really any desire to stay in one place other than the barn, thought men in general needed to grow up (i still think that one a bit) and really was just plain selfish. I loved being with people during the day, but hello private time at night and being that i am in no way a party person you couldn’t pry me from my dwelling unless it was on fire around me.

Where is this post going you ask? No clue, really i have no clue, but i have been reading and catching up on some of the mommy blogs that i enjoy and haven’t been reading much of. I realize too here in the final months of my pregnancy that a small part of me misses the old days. I miss me time. I love my kids with all i have and would never think of compromising my time with them.

How sad is it that i am looking forward to this C-Section because it is my ONLY chance to get any time alone (ok even if it is only two hours before the surgery and nurses and doctors will be wandering in to check my vitals and whatnot. But still 2 hours in which i will not have to change a diaper, stop the bickering, pick up a toy or pee! I am so excited i am about cross-eyed!

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