Only a Mother

  • Can listen to the same knock-knock joke 27 times without hollering “Nobody’s Home!”
  • Will be a Scrabble partner with a kid who thinks “cookie” begins with “k.”
  • Will unwind 56 feet of toilet paper so her little darling can have the empty roll… to make a Mother’s Day present.
  • Knows the location of every drive-through window in town.
  • Knows the exact temperature a crayon will melt on the dashboard.
  • Will try to hide a leafy green vegetable in a cookie.
  • Knows the secret to happy grocery shopping with a toddler…visit the bakery aisle first and plug his lips with a big cream horn.
  • Can cherish the 1,000th bleating of “Twinkle, Twinkle” from a budding violinist.
  • Will show up at work wearing Mickey Mouse stickers on her posterior.
  • Sees a Picasso in those scribbles decorating the fridge.
  • Knows all the verses to “This Old Man.”
  • Can deal out emergency lunch money from the dryer lint filter.
  • Can find her last good pair of panty hose hitching a wagon to a tricycle.
  • Knows the sure-fire way to get three kids to eat carrots. buy two carrots.
  • Is limber enough to wrestle a fitted sheet onto the top bunk bed.
  • Invests fifty dollars in stale macaroons to help send the French Club to Disneyland.
  • Will attempt to grow hydroponic tomatoes in one night for a last- minute science project.
  • Can see across town and locate a missing shoe from her office desk phone.
  • Can switch from cook to catcher in an instant.
  • Has a bathtub that’s filled with little yellow duckies.
  • Seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
  • ~~ Author Unknown ~~

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