Today was the registration for Kindergarten here and i got through it in about an hour. I had planned while there to speak with a couple of the Kindergarten teachers to get recommendations for a speech therapist to help J learn how to have a conversation. Honestly I cannot teach him this, not for lack of trying but i must lack the necessary brain cell. In any case, in talking with one of the teacher’s aids because seriously it was a FLOOD of parents when the sign-ups started. So they were all busy as everyone is assigned a parent to help fill out forms and make sure you brought everything aside from a DNA sample. In talking to the aid she gave me the names of the public school therapists (one of which we had already tried when J was 3 and she just didn’t work out) and the name of..get this…the ONLY other place for therapy in a 40 MILE radius! Therapists i ALREADY know are booked until J is possibly still in Kindergarten at the age of 20!
How is the possible? How is it that i cannot find any help for my son’s speech? I think it is so unfair that he may be classified as slow based on his inability to overcome extreme shyness around others and lack of conversational skills. I know he is different, i have never once convinced myself that he wasn’t, but there is no reason he cannot keep up in school as he is super bright. He can do the work without a problem, it is ONLY a language barrier. I am so sad that after almost 2 years i am STILL fighting the same battle in trying to find someone to help my son. I think it is sad and i know in talking with other mothers this is only the tip of the iceburg in what our area is lacking in.
While i would love to help everyone, right now i need to focus on J and what i can do to help? I have been the one working with him during this search and while he speaks a lot, tons more than before his surgery, I can’t get over this teaching him how to have a conversation hump. Plus being as i am the only teacher for speech, he speaks much less for everyone else, husband included. He needs someone else to work with him so that he learns to talk as much around others. Unfortunately i am beating my head up against a WALL here folks. What can i do?
Isn’t there any therapist in my area that can teach my son to recite all the Spongebob episodes (with the moves as well) like i can? Ok i didn’t teach them to him, but as i pointed out he is bright and after a couple watches he can recite most anything he has seen…only around me
I know my two readers are wondering, where is the laughter? Why is she writing like this, so dry and stiff? I am suffering people. I have had a sinus infection for what seems like a lifetime. Every time i lean over to change a diaper i feel like my head is trying to leap off my shoulders and escape. I would be happy to let it go because with it would take the snot and the pressure. Oh my lord the pressure!
So the funny is still here, but it is hidden behind the green snot that i cannot get rid of. Ick.
DH and i do not celebrate this holiday. I am not the type of girl to appreciate someone spending a huge amount on flowers that will die or the kids will inevitably knock over and pick the petals off of. I have never really been the type to like this holiday. We like to refer to it as the keep Hallmark in business holiday.
If DH wants to show that he loves me with a gesture he doesn’t feel that he needs to have a specific day that everyone else celebrates as well to show it. I feel the same. We have our anniversary, the days each of our boys were born, and other important times in our lives together. We continuously add to these days and for us those are our valentine’s days.
Do you ever have one of those days in which you feel like you are a complete and utter failure as a parent? I feel like that more often than not. Today though for some reason, i just felt like all i did was yell at the boys. I hate myself for that and i feel like i am driving them away from me. It helps too that DH says that i yell too much.
The guilt is overwhelming and no amount of coddling is going to help. Why do i do this? I am not normally an angry person. Really i am not.
I think that the lack of personal time may be getting to me. I know that the lack of exercise is definitely a big factor in my attitude. I am a person that likes to be doing things, like walking, running, riding horses, throwing bales of hay, etc. To not have been able to do any of this is causing all my extra energy to come out as rage. I am not necessarily angry for real, but more like i am looking for a way to release the energy i have. It is NO excuse.
But if i do not start doing something about it, my kids will seriously never come near me again. Or they will call me Yelling mommy. Nice, but not who i want to be.
I have been spending a lot of time crafting lately. I don’t tend to talk about that much here because i keep another blog for that. It seems to have slightly consumed my days though.
My sister and i have started getting together every wednesday to scrapbook together. I am grateful for this because without her coming over and kicking me into doing something i would never get the scrapbooks put together for each of my boys. I want to remember the little things that they did to make me laugh and the little stories that as the years go by my mind files away into the back corners. I also love doing things that involve paper and glue and glitter and stickers.
Inevitably on these days D will want extra attention or Ian will get into something he is not supposed to or something will happen, because Murphy’s Law is a permanent resident in my house.
You know what is weird i had a whole post going in my head and now that i sit to write it, it is completely gone. Nice. Memory loss at 33, i am SO lucky.
So many times the days fly by us and we get caught up in the routine of the day. We tend to lose focus on the important parts of our lives. Heck i am lucky to remember any part of life. My day is filled with so many little events and things to get done, as i am sure many mothers face. It is a challenge each day to check each item on my list of things to do. Mainly if i get the kids fed, dressed and naps in i consider it a good day.
Today my 9 month old walked his first steps. I knew it was coming, it has been in the works for sometime. I have been trying to preserve that little bit of baby left in him. It is inevitable though, he wants to catch up with his big brothers and play with them. I want him to stay my baby and he wants to grow up.
So today we didn’t worry about the dishes, vacuuming or piles of toys threatening to over take the house. We sat and watched as my baby took his first steps towards toddlerhood, a little ahead of my schedule.