My husband and i often talk about things that we see or find on the internet that are of interest to us. Often times i will regale him with a story that made me laugh until i wet myself, only to have him say who is <insert name here>? I will say “Oh you know, <insert name here>, from <insert blog name here>” and he will look at me like i grew antlers and tried to strap on a sleigh. “Who?”
I spend a lot of my free time reading mommy blogs, craft blogs, participating in mommy board discussions and giving advice to local moms (who are crazy enough to take it).While i don’t know a majority of the people whose blogs i read in person, after commenting and reading about their lives for months or in some cases years, i feel like this person is a friend.
Is that perverse?
My husband doesn’t understand how i can form a relationship (of sorts, seriously i again must re-iterate that i am NOT a stalker) with someone’s blog. In some cases, the blogger and i have gone past the commenting back and forth and moved on to e-mailing each other. I feel like for the most part every day we bloggers put a part of ourselves into the blogs that we keep and by doing so we invite people to get to know us. Now there are some extremes, but i have for the most part had great experiences with other bloggers. I have made several great friends via blogs, and yes by friends i mean actually communicating with each other outside of the comment field. I also see others forming great and lasting friendships after a particularly moving post.
I think all of this is great. My husband however thinks that i have put too much of myself and family out there for others to see. I do try and be careful and limited the information that can be gleaned from posts as to my child and various things about our lives and where we live. Even doing so i know that there are people that take pleasure in causing problems. I can only say to my husband that i enjoy blogging. It has a been a rich and rewarding experience. It has allowed friends to keep up with me when they just don’t get a chance to e-mail and it has given me a chance to learn so much from others out there.
I have met some wonderful people via their blogs and i am hoping to meet many more in the years to come.
When Susan from Friday Playdate (along with Lisa Stone from Blog Her) appeared on ABC’s special interest report talking about blogging and making a career of it, she sparked a lot of interest in this topic. There has always been a passable interest in mothers, in particular, about finding a way that we can work from home to avoid the house size payment that child care providers ask for so that you can go to a job outside of the home. I for one am always looking for something that will allow me to stop working nights and being a zombie all day long just so that we can afford the neighborhood that we love and have food to eat. I am constantly on the look out for new ideas and ways that i can work from home without having to put a lot of money up front, i.e. starting a home business or mailing things. I know that i am not alone out there.
That is why i was so thrilled to see someone whose blog i have been reading (and loving!) for over two years talking about blogging as a way to earn money. Granted, i would love to do that, but i highly doubt that it will happen. I am not organized enough to keep the tone of blog in order, it mainly comes out sounding like a schizophrenic wrote it on a bad day. Alot of times the voice in this blog sounds nothing like my own. While it is my own words and thoughts that you are reading, it often comes out sounding off or odd. What person wants to hire that to write for them? I can honestly say, zero.
Ok well i haven’t tried, but i am going based off the fact that somedays i don’t even know where i am coming from with things.
However, i am inspired by Susan and Lisa and the many other mothers out there that are taking their ability to inspire and entertain, to bring home the proverbial bacon. I applaud all of you.
I am going to try harder to make the voice you read here my own, who i really am. I really don’t try to come across as disjointed. It only happens when i write for the world to see.
I have to share the best carrot cake recipe i have ever come across in my life. Seriously people loved this cake and i am fairly certain anyone with taste buds will like it as well. The recipe comes from a member on Recipezaar. Here it is love in the form of carrots and sugar:
Mix flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon; make a well in the centre and add sugar, oil, eggs and vanilla.
Mix with wooden spoon until smooth.
Stir in carrots, coconut, walnuts and pineapple.
Pour into 9×13 inch pan and bake for about 45 minutes.
Don’t panic, the centre will sink a little.
Allow to cool; when cool, ice the cake.
You can certainly use your favourite cream cheese frosting to ice this cake, but the one I’ve included is highly recommended .
To make the frosting: Cream the butter and cream cheese until smooth; add the icing sugar and beat until creamy.
Now i only did two things different, i used shredded baby carrots and i baked it in a Bundt pan. It added about 15 minutes to the cooking time. I will add also that it does get rather brown, but if you worry about the color put some tin foil over it about 30 minutes in.
Sometimes it gets lost in the jumble of the day and the roar of the tiny masses, but i do love being a mother. I love the realization that each of these amazing boys are a part of me and my husband. That they will grow up and be special to someone makes me tear up a little bit. I know i get ahead of myself because let’s face it we haven’t even gotten to Kindergarten yet, but still it is close.
I have been working on a scrapbook of J’s first year and to be honest i don’t remember half of what the photos are showing. I cannot remember that his hair used to be super curly and fine like mine, but it changed somewhere along the way. Thank goodness for the digital memories.
I don’t know how many of you like to put together your own scrapbooks, but i would like to recommend something a little bit different for the coffee table. Sometime along the same lines, Blurb. This site allows you to make a book of your memories, that you organize and design. They print it out and send it to you. Plus you can order more than one of these fabulous books to give to relatives. Personally i think it is a fabulous idea for Christmas, even though i know it is alittle far away, i am definitely going to be giving these to some special people in our lives.
I am not sure if i mentioned this or not, but J is speech delayed. He is 4 1/2 years old now and in preschool, but is still not anywhere close to speaking like he should.
As a parent, as a mother, I spend a lot of time questioning what i could of done differently. What did i do wrong? How can i fix this so that he grows up to be a normal boy that no one picks on?
I don’t want to change him, but i want to make things easier for him. Truth be told i never feel like i do enough for him. I don’t feel like i am working with him enough. Because truth be told it is just easier to let him continue on like he is.
I feel like a failure. I feel like it is my fault for not helping him.
Truth is, I am human.
Don’t get me wrong we have done the speech therapists for years and enrolled him into preschool early to help him with communication. We got him the surgery that helped him to hear normally. We have done things, i am not completely ignoring the issue hoping it will go away.
A part of me though, wishes, hopes that it will. That he will wake up and everyone will be able to understand what he is saying. That he will talk around other people, including his father and not just me. That he will not have to be singled out for therapy while in Kindergarten.
Because kids are cruel. And kids pick on those that are different. And that will break my heart to see because he will not understand it and he will not understand why they are being mean to him.
So we pray for a miracle and i pray that i can work with him more every day. Because it is all we can do.
I haven’t done very well in keeping up with this blog. In all honesty sometimes life just gets in the way. Sometimes i am just plain worn out from working and parenting and know that i will be unable to form a coherent sentence. I often can be heard saying, “Oh I wish I worked from home.” But in all honesty, I do work from home, i just don’t happen to get paid for it and i don’t get a day off from it.
I love my kids and i love their overall enthusiasm for life. I wish i still had that every day as they do. I don’t though. The bills and rising cost of living are wearing me down. I want to be all i can be for my kids, but the fact is that trying to provide for them is sucking the life out of M and I.
J’s hair is like his father’s, thick and full and grows like a weed in the sun. Mark needs a haircut every three weeks or his hair is impossible to deal with. J is the same. After three weeks you have to drown the child to get water past the forest to his scalp. So when i take the boys to get their haircuts we go to an old fashion barber. One my dad has been going to since we moved here (see my inability to change ANYTHING) and that has known my family forever. I think this place is a dying breed. It has the old fashioned red/white pole out front and the group of old men inside reading the paper and shooting the shit. When i took my boys for their first haircuts there after their screams died down, the men there each got up and shook the boys hands and welcomed them to the “club”.
I thought it was cute, sort of a tradition, keeping the place alive. M thought it was creepy and weird.
In any case he hates having to pay for a hair cut and because the last time he asked me to cut his hair just like the girl at the saloon did (do i look like i have mad haircutting skills?) it didn’t turn out right. Well now he got me something he knows i know how to use.
A pair of clippers.
Be still my heart.
Well it is true i am great with the clippers, i used to clip show horses for years. I know how to use clippers, but i do not how ever think that i want to be the person responsible for cutting M’s hair every other week since he decided that he wanted to shave his head, instead of the old style. Which i happen to like, of course i voice this AFTER he has shaved it and decided he liked it.
Anyway J gets his head shaved for the most part because it works for him. D on the other hand is gifted with his mother’s wispy, thin hard to find a style for hair and therefore has to get the scissor treatment. So i shave J’s head today and while i was out of the room getting Ian who was vocalizing his need to get OUT of the crib. I come back and J has shaved two lines in D’s head. His head people, and it isn’t pretty. So i have to shave the rest of it otherwise he will look like someone burn rubber on his head.
Now he looks horrible and since he has my hair it will take FOREVER to grow out.