So fast

This is my oldest son and i look at him now and he is really growing up so fast. In a lot of ways it takes an addition to the family to see the changes in the other children that are there. You see your children everyday and sometimes you don’t notice that their face is losing the baby roundness or that they can do so many new things that you don’t remember them doing the day before.

It sometimes takes a brief absence from home and your family to see that your loved ones are taking that next step towards being adults. It makes me happy and sad all at the same time. I miss certain phases of their lives that i know i won’t get to relive with them. There are all those “first” moments that I was fortunate enough to witness and moments where they learned how to do something finally that i got to be a part of.

Now my oldest has just completed his first year of preschool (we enrolled him at three to help with socialization and speech) and i already feel old. I feel that he has changed in so many ways in the last year into a very serious little boy. I hope that the anger and aggression that he seems to be feeling right now, since bringing the baby home passes and he once again obtains the sweet attitude that he had before. I worry that he will never go back to being nice and will grow up angry at things and that i could of done something to stop it. I don’t know what to do differently other then to love him and provide for the same stability that he has come to rely on from us.

He has really enjoyed school and he has come out of his shell in events that involve groups of people. Before he had many issues with being around others and noise and it caused him no end of stress, but school as completely changed that about him. He has learned to handle himself around others and while he will always maintain some degree of shyness with strangers (which i think is healthy) he will not be uncomfortable to the point that he is stressed out.

Not to be left behind, D is hot on heels in terms of learning and is determined to do everything that his big brother does. He didn’t have the same social issues that J had and is so mobile that i believe he will be skateboarding off the roof at some point. D is my rebel and extreme sports fanatic. He loves anything that involves crashing, racing and going fast. He will be two this thursday and can already skateboard, ride a scooter and a bike. He is always right in the thick of games when the older boys are playing trying to get a shot or tackle someone. He too is growing too fast for me and it makes me sad.

Some days i miss the baby phase in each of them and i relish in the boys that they are becoming.