Things are settling into a routine here. The boys are still not happy with the new addition and i know that while M has really stepped up and helped out with them, that they miss the individual time they used to have with mom. I do try to involve Ian with many of our daily routines so that they get used to having him and me around, but there are still many times when i am nursing Ian and the boys want some attention as well. I am pumping a lot to keep this nursing time to a minimum and to when M is home to help out, but there are times that i don’t have the milk stored to do this. J is used to me nursing having gone through it with D, but D is not and is not adapting to the lack of individual time with me. I am working on it though.
I am struggling with my hormones and emotions which is really making J and D’s outbursts difficult to handle without my slightly losing it. I don’t want them to feel like i am just constantly punishing them with timeouts, but they are pushing the boundaries with me and it is hard to handle them without a timeout or something more stern. I don’t want them to resent Ian and feel like since he has come home all they get is punished. Hard to do when they are making life a little bit worse.
We are going through a little bit of an issue with J, since he is still not up to his level of development in speech and is really having issues expressing his emotions. I am not sure how to help him with this expression and right now he is harboring a lot of anger that he doesn’t know how to express. His preschool teacher has mentioned this as well. She helps him with a lot of individual attention at school, but he is missing the attention i used to give him working with him at home. Major guilt there. Also D is on track with speech, but he is needing attention focusing on given tasks. He is a bit all over the place. I am trying to get it sorted out to give them what they need.
I think i may need to be cloned.
I am looking to get another speech therapist for J, this will be our 4th attempt. It is hard to find a good therapist in this area. Those that are available he is either not insync with or they are treating him like he is below the level he is at and not giving him what he needs. I am not trying to be picky, but i want to make sure that he learns from them and learns to speak, but with all of them he speaks less and just does the tasks he needs to do to get through the session. I have watched him at school and he is really flourishing with his teacher and her aid there, so i know it can be achieved, it is difficult to expect them to give so much time to my child though. Plus next year he was accepted into a preschool program closer to home and will be in a different program. we are so fortunate that he embraced the school he is in and has grown to be such a different child and now we are moving him to the next level with the preschool he was accepted into. The director and the teachers all have training in speech therapy and development. The classes are small and it is 5 minutes away cutting down on the 30 minute, one way commute each day. Plus it is much cheaper and they also have a 3 year program that D can now be enrolled in in a year which will really help him out. D needs help staying focused on tasks. I know he is not even two, but he is a bit all over the place. I just want to make sure that he works on figuring things out more so than how fast he can ride a scooter down the hill. He is my dare devil.