Neighbors

I have mentioned (at least i think i have) that we have wonderful neighbors. Everyone is very nice within a two house section on either side of us and the row of houses across the street. Not that the people beyond that aren’t nice, i just don’t venture out of the general area of my house/driveway. Since our house and garage have the afternoon shade, it has been deemed the clubhouse. So i tend to stay close to keep the kids from mass destruction of which they have no intention of picking up.

No they are really super kids and willingly clean up all toys that aren’t theirs.

In any case on one side of us is a couple that has been unable to conceive. Super nice couple and just great with kids. She watches a few of her family’s kids on her day off and just really seems to be  involved with them. After enduring a long bout of fertility testing and just not getting anywhere, they put themselves on a list to adopt, within the U.S..

About a year after meeting them, they were informed that there was a baby available for adoption (they are using a Christian adoption agency, that allows the birth parents to select from a number of viable people as to whom they want to raise their baby) and they were really excited.

NC  has a law that the birth mother has 7 days to change her mind about giving the baby up for adoption.

On the 6th day they were told that the mother decided to keep the baby and i just cannot imagine what they were feeling. I do know that after that, they requested not to be advised until after the 7 day period had been passed. I totally agree there.

Last week, the husband came over to let me know that they were going to pick up their new daughter the next day. I was thrilled for them. I was so excited that if i hadn’t been pregnant, i probably would of gotten pregnant that night. Weird but i get oddly excited for others. They kept us in the loop, which they didn’t need to do, but i was happy that they felt that we were people they could talk with about these things. They have often joked that if the baby they received cried, they were bringing it over for me to care for.  I can’t say that idea thrilled me. Can’t i have the happy baby?

So after a very long day and car ride, they get home and we come by briefly to give them the big baby of baby stuff that we bought for them and then we leave. I know how it is on the first few days and i wanted to give them a chance to bond as a family. Of course I don’t know that that happened, as for the next four hours there were more cars in and out of there than at Disney during the Millenium Celebration. I swear, i have never seen so many people.

It has been a little over a week since they brought her home..they have kept her in the house for a total of one day.

Huh?

One day?

Now i haven’t had a chance to talk with them much, because as they both work at the same place  and being a small business they both couldn’t take off. She took three weeks off.

What for?

Now true i do not know the WHOLE story, but i know enough to know (I heard it from her) that the baby spent the first night with the grandmother, then went to her sister’s. She is currently on day 3 on the same sister’s second time around. I don’t understand why? Why did they want a baby if they weren’t going to keep it in the home?

I know that he talks about the baby all the time and is constantly holding the baby whenever she is home. It seems to be largely her. Maybe she feels overwhelmed to have such a huge responsibility?  I personally want to know, but i don’t think it is my place to ask. I think that they will need to work it out. I think that their family needs to stop taking the baby and let them assume the parental responsibility that they signed up for.

She made a comment to me the other day about how whenever i have a baby that there is family always there to do everything. But that is NOT true. In fact, we have family to the hospital to see the new addition, but the first few days at home are ours. We don’t have anyone over and we spend time bonding together with everyone. We try to make sure that our other children feel a part of the process and aren’t left out or watched by a grandparent. I think it makes the process of bringing a new baby home easier. After a few days if people want to come over then they are welcome to.

Plus i don’t know about you, but when i get home from the hospital, i look like a Yeti in need of a shower.

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