Happy Mother’s Day

The house is untidy from window to door,
Marks on the walls and food on the floor.

The washing’s unwashed
and the dishes are too,
There’s scum in the bathroom
And fat on the stew.

There are toys in the passage
And under our feet;
The garden’s a jungle
When seen from the street.

So what have I done, then
To earn my repose?
To just look around me
You’d say no-one knows!

I’ve held a small hand
As her first steps she took.

I’ve made animal noises
As we read a book.

I’ve built a mud pie
And admired a snail.

I’ve rescued the cat
From a grip on her tail.

I’ve wiped away tears,
And I’ve listened to tales.

I’ve used mediation
To get smiles from wails.

So I guess what I’ve done
Isn’t easy to see -

It won’t clean the house
And it won’t cook the tea.

But if I have helped make a child feel good,
know that she’s loved and
that she’s understood,
then I know that my work,
though not easy to see,
is just as important as any could be.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

The Parent’s Pledge

I will set a good example for my child.

I will show my children I love them every day through words and physical affection.

I will listen to my children and let them know I value what they say.

I will praise my child’s accomplishments and efforts towards those accomplishments.

I will have realistic expectations for my children.

I will allow them to make their own mistakes and learn from those experiences.

I will avoid being too critical or focusing on my child’s shortcomings.

I will encourage my child to meet new challenges and have new experiences.

I will respect my children as individuals even if I don’t always agree with them.

I will enjoy my children and make time to share interests and appreciate one another.

I will love my children unconditionally.

I will let them know they are lovable, worthwhile and valuable human beings.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

TEN COMMITMENTS FOR PARENTS

I will always love and respect my child for who he is and not who I want him to be.

I will give my child space – to grow, to dream, to succeed, and even, sometimes, to fail.

I will create a loving home environment and show my child that she is loved, whenever and however and however I can.

I will, when discipline is necessary, let my child know that I disapprove of what he does, not who he is.

I will set limits for my child and help her find security in the knowledge of what is expected of her.

I will make time for my child and cherish our moments together, realizing how important – and fleeting – they are.

I will not burden my child with emotions and problems he is not equipped to deal with, remembering that I am the parent and he is the child.

I will encourage my child to experience the world and all its possibilities, guiding her in its ways and taking pains to leave her careful, but not fearful.

I will take care of myself physically and emotionally so that I can be there for my child when he needs me.

I will try to be the kind of person I want my child to grow up to be – loving, fair-minded, moral, giving and hopeful.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Only a Mother

Can listen to the same knock-knock joke 27 times without hollering “Nobody’s Home!”

Will be a Scrabble partner with a kid who thinks “cookie” begins with “k.”

Will unwind 56 feet of toilet paper so her little darling can have the empty roll… to make a Mother’s Day present.

Knows the location of every drive-through window in town.

Knows the exact temperature a crayon will melt on the dashboard.

Will try to hide a leafy green vegetable in a cookie.

Knows the secret to happy grocery shopping with a toddler…visit the bakery aisle first and plug his lips with a big cream horn.

Can cherish the 1,000th bleating of “Twinkle, Twinkle” from a budding violinist.

Will show up at work wearing Mickey Mouse stickers on her posterior.

Sees a Picasso in those scribbles decorating the fridge.

Knows all the verses to “This Old Man.”

Can deal out emergency lunch money from the dryer lint filter.

Can find her last good pair of panty hose hitching a wagon to a tricycle.

Knows the sure-fire way to get three kids to eat carrots. buy two carrots.

Is limber enough to wrestle a fitted sheet onto the top bunk bed.

Invests fifty dollars in stale macaroons to help send the French Club to Disneyland.

Will attempt to grow hydroponic tomatoes in one night for a last- minute science project.

Can see across town and locate a missing shoe from her office desk phone.

Can switch from cook to catcher in an instant.

Has a bathtub that’s filled with little yellow duckies.

Seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Love is Being a Mother

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1. Love is scaring away monsters in the middle of the night, then again at 1:00 a.m., 2:00 a.m., 3:00 a.m.
2. Love is putting peanut butter on anything as long as they’ll eat it!
3. Love is knowing how to disguise vegetables 30 different ways.
4. Love is reading the same bedtime story for the 999th time.
5. Love is a hug around the knees.
6. Love is watching Mr. Rogers instead of All My Children.
7. Love is cutting off the crusts.
8. Love is a refrigerator covered with creative works of art.
9. Love is not grimacing through the dirtiest of diapers.
10. Love is trading in the Camero for a station wagon.
11. Love is the magic kiss that heals all owies.
12. Love is a cuddly kid in a blanket sleeper.
13. Love is the first kick, first smile, first laugh, first step, first anything.
14. Love is your child pointing to a picture of Christie Brinkley and saying “mama”.
15. Love is your child sound asleep, any child sound asleep.
16. Love is a macaroni necklace.
17. Love is wearing the macaroni necklace to church with pride.
18. Love is a peanut butter kiss, a syrup kiss, a chocolate kiss, any kind of kiss.
19. Love is when Bert & Ernie replace Robert Redford & Tom Selleck as your most admired men.
20. Love is not worrying about those few extra pounds cuz they make you more cuddly.
21. Love is knowing how to get out amoxicillin stains.
22. Love is a bouquet of dandelions.
23. Love is the smell of a baby’s neck.
24. Love is saying no at the right times when it is easier to say yes.
25. Love is saying yes at the right times when it’s easier to say no.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

A tribute to Mothers

I found these and they are SO funny. Enjoy

These are real absence excuses sent to school from the parents of kids at the Wells Branch School District.

Dear school please accuse John from being absent on January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

I had to keep Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I didn’t know what size she ware.

Please excuse Johnny for being. It was his father’s fault.

Mary could not come to school because she was bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cuz he has an acre in his side.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.

Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.

Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.

My son is under the doctor’s care and should not take fizaca ed. Please execute him.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.

Please excuse Ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Maryann was absent December 11-16 because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomack. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night.

Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is adminstrating.

Please excuse Pedero from being absent yseterday. He had diah/ dyah/ the sh*ts.

George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.

Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.

Please excuse Wayne for being out yeaterday, because he had the fuel.

Please excuse Sarah for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Things Mothers Learn

I gave you life, but cannot live it for you.

I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.

I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.

I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot decide for you.

I can offer you advice, but I cannot accept it for you.

I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.

I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.

I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.

I can advise you about friends, but cannot choose them for you.

I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.

I can tell you about drink, but I can’t say “no” for you.

I can warn you about drugs, but I can’t prevent you from using them.

I can tell you about lofty goals, but I can’t achieve them for you.

I can teach you about kindness, but I can’t force you to be gracious.

I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.

I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.

~~ Author Unknown

Truths about Parenting

A baby usually wakes up in the wee wee hours of the morning.

A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children.

Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.

Celibacy is not hereditary.

Familiarity breeds children.

For adult education, nothing beats children.

God invented mothers because he couldn’t be everywhere at once.

God invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once.

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

Having children will turn you into your parents.

If a child looks like his father, that’s heredity; if he looks like a neighbor, that’s environment.

If you have trouble getting your children’s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.

Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids.

It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they’ll know as little as their parents.

Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.

You can learn many things from children… like how much patience you have.

Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

There are three ways to get things done:

1. do it yourself
2. hire someone to do it
3. forbid your kids to do it

There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

Those who say they “sleep like a baby” haven’t got one.

The best thing to spend on your children is time.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

A Parent’s Prayer

They’re only little once.

Grant me the wisdom to guide them down the path that their feet should take.

For I know that they can never turn back and walk those paths with me again.

Give me the wisdom to guide their feet
so that someday they’ll be able to walk alone.

They’re only little once.

Give me the time I need to enjoy them.

For I know that after they’re grown, I’ll never have another chance

to tell stories and pretend at those tea parties.

I’ll never have another chance

to watch them in a school play or sing in church, or to see them catch that first fish or score that first goal or hit that first home run ball.

Give me the time in life’s busy schedule
to have fun with my children.

They’re only little once.

Let me be a loving parent.

Let me correct and not just punish, explain and not merely scold.

Let me know when to correct, and how often, and when it’s best to just look the other way.

Help me be patient and give me a gentle hand to mould them into better people.

They’re only little once.

Let me be a good teacher and an even better example.

Give me the right words and deeds to teach them.

Help me to teach them about You and how to walk in Your ways

so that when they are old they will not depart from Your ways.

For they’re only little one time,

only innocent and trusting and pliable for a space of time, one minute in an eternity.

Let me do my best for them while I have the chance.

Amen

~~ Author Unknown ~~

No One Ever Told Me

• No one ever told me…… How long stretch marks would last, or that my body would be “different,” even after getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
• No one ever told me…My milk would let down at the most inopportune moments .. while at the grocery store, or pharmacy, at the bank, or at work.
• No one ever told me…I’d learn to function on 3 1/2 hours of intermittent sleep, or that I’d quickly learn the necessary skill of juggling things like calming a screaming baby, taking a telephone call, picking up a toy-strewn house, quieting a barking dog, and starting a load of laundry .. all at the same time.
• No one ever told me…It would take 3 times as long to leave the house. That simple errands would become major chores .. grocery shopping would become my definition of “an outing,” taking a drive at 2 a.m. to get the baby to stop crying could be acceptable, and eating dinner while it was still hot would be considered a luxury.
• No one ever told me…About varicose veins, hemorrhoids, aching arches, or insomnia.
• No one ever told me…what “bear down” meant.
• No one ever told me…there would be so many self-proclaimed experts, continually telling me what to do with my child, pointing out everything I was doing wrong.
• No one ever told me…I’d very likely cry at the drop of a hat.
• No one ever told me…I’d learn all the words to Barney, Wee Sing, Disney and Raffi songs, or that I’d know all the characters names on Sesame Street, Little Bear and Blues Clues and at what time and channel the programs could be watched, any given day of the week.
• No one ever told me…that hearing the words “I love you too mommy” would make a bad day turn good in an instant, or hearing “I missed you mommy” would make me feel so happy to be home.
• No one ever told me…how fun a trip to the zoo, a movie. or even the grocery store could be … when seen through the eyes of a chid.
• No one ever told me…how the smallest things, such as a child first noticing the dust floating in a ray of sunlight, or the raindrops dancing on the windshield could bring me so much happiness, or that they’d be the first things I told my husband when he got home from work.
• No one ever told me…I’d struggle at times to maintain my own identity, or that I’d need “alone” time … only to find that about an hour away from my child, I would be ready to go home again.
• No one ever told me…I’d burst into joy as my baby reached her earliest milestones, or that I’d secretly grieve over those same accomplishments, as they signified the departing of my baby’s fleeting infancy.
• No one ever told me…I’d have a second shadow … following me around everywhere.
• No one ever told me…that before I knew it, my littlest shadow would be independent of me.
• No one ever told me…that time would move so fast.
• No one ever told me…I’d appreciate my mother so greatly.
• No one ever told me…I’d come to the reality of my own mortality.
• No one ever told me…I would be so overwhelmed, so awestruck, so excited, and so nervous when I brought my tiny baby home.
• No one ever told me…I could love another being so fully, so completely, so selflessly and unconditionally. On becoming a mother,
• No one ever told me…I could feel so fulfilled.

~~ Author Unknown ~~